Friday, July 22, 2011

Resume Worksheet for a Mom of an AsperKid (For Fun)

Ever think what we do as caregivers of super special kids doesn’t add up to useful skills? Think again.

And read the following with a smile in your pocket and logic on the shelf. I wrote this just for fun, but there are underlying truths involved. Number One? Never underestimate the effort you put into doing the best for your child.

(Add your own thoughts in the comments section. Let’s have fun with this as we show that we really are a bunch of incredible, talented people!)

Resume Worksheet for a Mom of an AsperKid

Objective: To increase awareness and understanding of the autism spectrum, specifically as it relates to Asperger’s Syndrome.

Summary: Independent, persistent individual dedicated to my child’s best interests.

Current Position: Diaper days (insert year here) - present

Experience, Skills, Roles, and Abilities:
  • ·         Insurance Expert – Works tirelessly with the medical system to ensure adequate coverage as well as policies are followed, without raising any voices. Much.
  • ·         Private Medical Driver – Logged thousands of miles driving to and from various appointments, at all times of the day, to the other side of town and beyond, through piles of snow and relentless thunderstorms, accommodating last minute schedule changes.
  • ·         Waiter – Can sit quietly and patiently for hours on end in small rooms with uncomfortable chairs, bad lighting, even worse music, with bored kids in tow.
  • ·         Secretary – Adept at recording and setting meeting agenda and notes, as well as making sure communications between appropriate parties are initiated and followed through, sometimes in crayon or magic marker utilizing all sorts of recording devices.
  • ·         Short Order Cook
  • ·         Seamstress – Expert at tag and button removal, not leaving even a hint of thread behind.
  • ·         Unflappable – Able to deflect stares, glares and barbs from complete strangers.
  • ·         OT Assistant
  • ·         PT Assistant
  • ·         Speech Therapy Assistant
  • ·         Social Skills Trainer
  • ·         Advocate – Speaks up for those unable to speak for themselves, making sure that plans and laws are followed to the letter.
  • ·         Ambassador – Extensive experience explaining abstract and unfamiliar terms and conditions to others in an effort to further good will and understanding.
  • ·         Cheerleader - PomPoms not included, neither is a megaphone, as we can jump, wave our arms up and down and project our voices just fine. (Not that we ever have done that...)
  • ·         Research Technician – Experienced analyst, with expertise in dissecting red tape.
  • ·         Entertainer – Able to twist, turn and contort whenever the situation warrants, in an effort to keep peace and maintain stability.
  • ·         Director – Plans social opportunities as well as creates and participates in role plays, keeping meltdowns at a minimum.
  • ·         Model – Able to demonstrate facial expressions and body language on call.